


Before & After

by notexactlycappuccinointheclouds



Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notexactlycappuccinointheclouds/pseuds/notexactlycappuccinointheclouds
Summary: A short reflection on Peter after losing Neal.
Relationships: Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Before & After

That’s how these things go. There’s _before_ and _after_. 

If you asked him how to describe _before_ , he would probably not find the words. He’d stumble over himself a little until he finally found some curt remark about how Neal had been a valuable member of the team. It’d be a polite and euphemistic way of telling you to go mind your own business.   
Neal would have been able to describe the way Peter felt about _before_. Neal was good at flowery language and ineffable feelings. He would have described it in much the same way he would describe paintings. He would have talked about color and light. He would have made sense out of the chaos.   
But Peter didn’t have that skill. For Peter, chaos was just chaos in the same way a Jackson Pollock was just paint splattered by a dead alcoholic on a canvas. And that’s what it was really. _Before_ was chaos: swirling blues and sparkling glass and red wine and the most vibrant Manhattan skylines. The kind of chaos that reminds you how alive you are.   
_After_ was something else entirely. _After_ was a lack of chaos. It was a vast emptiness that swallowed everything that came too close. 

  
If you asked him how to describe _after_ , you wouldn’t get a response at all. 


End file.
